Here are some questions you should ask yourself:
Have you ever held a crocodile in your hands? Had an ostrich poke its head through your Safari car window? Had a jealous chimpanzee spit water at you in anger because you did not give it your banana? Had a parrot on your arm? Fed an elephant, with tusks longer than you, a loaf of bread? Eaten a Danish hot dog in Denmark? Celebrated Christmas on the 24th of December in Sweden? Bought a sample of chocolate from every choc shop in Belgium? Hit a sacred cow with a car while returning from a 3 day Tour in Sri Lanka? Have you been photographed by amazed Latvians in Latvia but punched by crazed Nazis?; Have you witnessed a bull get murdered in a bull ring in Pamplona/San Fermin?
Have you been boiling hot on one Volcano but freezing cold on another? Have you hired a boat in Corfu and nearly drowned while trying to park it on a deserted beach?
Have you caught a fish on a deserted island using melted chocolate? Have you seen a live fish wash up on a beach… have it’s eye pecked out by a crow then get taken away by the waves? Have you spent the night in a boat? Have you spent the night on a cruise ship during stormy weather? Have you been so high up that you were walking on the clouds – not talking drugs here!? Have you haggled with a Moroccan in Morocco and bought a rug?
Have you gone bike riding in a cave in Holland? Have you been to the Christmas markets that take place in a cave? Have you spent new years in Madeira? Have you worn a mask at the Venice carnival in Venice? Have you eaten a gelato in front of the Coliseum in Rome? Have you witnessed a sunset in Santorini or a better one in Tenerife?
Have you partied in Ios? Have you seen apple juice in a jar in Estonia or seen two girls 9 years your junior complete an assault course when all you could do with give up? Have you nearly drowned trying to get to volcanic hot springs? Have you been to Granada for your birthday? Have you climbed up Mont Serrat in Barcelona?
Have you seen a sex show in Amsterdam? Have you had an angry Flemish person shout at you for posing for a picture near her chocolates in Antwerp station? Have you seen a dolphin show in Sweden? Have you bought duty free in Finland? Have you had your bum pinched in a club in Prague? Or had a drunk girl attempt to chat you up in Tallinn? Has your sister happily spent 4 hours throwing stones into the sea in Brighton? Have you been in a Tuk Tuk? Have you seen a female Tuk Tuk driver?
Have you been in the Santa Justa Elevator in Lisbon or that silver thingy majig in Brussels? Have you taken a boat ride under the Ponte Louis in Porto? Have you seen Meteora? Have you ever shopped in Milan or Eindhoven or Bilbao? Have you been the only black man in Budapest, Riga, Estonia and Latvia ?
Have you ever eaten snails in Paris or eaten Chinese food on a roof top with the Eiffel Tower blinking in front of you? Have you seen where the Pope lies in Vatican City? Have you had a monkey on your shoulder in Gibraltar?
Have you been in 4 countries in 3 days? Have you been bored to death in Bruges? Do you know what ‘La Gomera is’?
If you cannot answer yes to at least three of the above, I think you need to ask yourself ‘Have I lived?’
The Cool Traveller 